body

:::does a little dance, makes a little love... gets down tonight!:::

firstly, thanks to todd's advice, i moved elforium from geocities to brinkster. i'll post the link at the begining of august.
all the other elforium sites are still at geocities, but that will change. all the sites are in desperate need of new layouts (3b, super, and mischief have all had the same layouts since april 2001), so as i get those and ACTUAL CONTENT done, i'll move 'em.

enjoyed some chillaxin' with irene today. i don't know, between talking to her and tlaking to mehaik, i don't know if i should be happy or not that i am no longer dating the man i love. of course, the fact that we're not dating does not mean there is any less drama.
but like i was telling irene, drama is the one thing i don't want in relationships, any relationship.
sure, we all need drama in our lives. but i'd rather that come from situations. strange events at school or work, sucky co-workers, wonderful co-workers, favorite show is cancelled... mundane things. when it comes to the people i love, i like them to be happy, healthy, and on good terms with me.

i love how productive it is every time i spend a day with irene. i get everything off my chest, toss around some ideas, and come away inspired and fulfilled. i always go away from her with a lot of ideas to think over. thank you, darling!

vit and i went out with a friend of his and the friend's neice, katarina, who is visiting from yugoslavia. i actually thought it would really suck, but she and i hit it off, and it was quite cool. she and i agreed to get together when we are both in belgrade.

i also had my last salsa class tonight! well, last for a month. i might have to do it again when i get back home...
but i started talking to one of the guys there. josh's idea of talking to strangers seems to be accurate: he was a nice guy, really funny.

max left today. i talked to him earlier and he, too, gave me something to think about. i was saying how brave he was, going off like that and not looking back. he said the reason for that is that he knows he is making a change for the better, and the reason i am a bit worried about my trip is that i don't know if it is for the better or the worse.
and he's right! who knows how the world will change in a month? in summer especially, when days seem so long, weeks even longer, and lives and minds can change in dizzifying time spans. the relationships that may form or crumble in the next month... it's increadable to think about.
however, the fact remains that i may not like all of those chagnes. i may come back a month from now, and find everyone has become someone i don't like.... but why am i beating around the bush? we all know what i am really worried aobut is how a month of time to think will affect josh. he seems very confused about me right now. and, after a month, what conclusions will he have reached?
he had his date with kat tonight. and a month from now, will that matter?

jesus vega! stop depressing yourself! tomorrow i'm going to get on a plane, and when i get off, it'll be 40 degrees, and my mom and grandpa will be at the airport waiting for me, as the car slowly melts in the parking lot. my grandmas and auntie and mummy will pamper me to no end, i'll see some old friends, and have a great time.
and the future? if i can't change it, i can only deal with it when it gets here.

and, of course, plot as to how i CAN change it.
:::inser sinister laugh here:::