body

hey, you know what? i'm allowed to not be hyper crazy mad all the time. and i don't have to apologize for it either!
not to sound like a cliche, but i hate feeling like i'm on stage all the time? don't wanna take me for you play bitch? hah! i'm the greatest actress in the world! i'm on stage every minute of the day!

on the other hand, i sometimes like to be "on." i'm be so bored if i wasn't. i can be quiet... or i can force myself to blurt out the most random stupid purple elephant crap i can think of. and the people are entertained, and i'm entertained...

but it's not real. and i do say mad crazy stuff anyway, sincerley, when i feel mad crazy.
i hate insincerity, and i hate it when i'm the one being insincere. but some people i just don't know well enough to be sincere around. some peole i have to act for, because otherwise there's no vega to know. if i'm down and quiet, then as far as most people are concerned i don't exist. i like to exist.

well, tommorow i'll go to school and see all my favorite people, and i'll be sincere, one way or the other.