body

last night i stayed up until midnight (gasp! shock! considering most of my friends don't go to bed until 4, it really doesn't seem so bad) watching comandante on the passionate eye. it was a documentary/biography of fidel castro. oliver stone followed castro around for a few days, asking him questions about the revolution, his career etc. etc.
i found it very interesting. i enjoyed the fact that this 80+-year-old man still had all this youthful idealism about him.

last friday, josh and i went to visit max and mina, and we all played monopoly. it turned into a study in socioeconomic ideals. as mina put it "josh is playing as a capitalist, i'm playing as a socialist, and vega is playing as a communist." (i can't remember what max was supposed to be).
stricktly speaking, that wasn't quite true. i went on claiming that i refused to sell certain properties because of "the common good," when in fact i was only saving my own neck by not having to risk paying higher rent on those properties.

i bring up that anecdote because this past year-or-so has been very confusing to me in terms of politics. i no longer want to call myself a communist, because too many people have been murdered for that cause. on the other hand, i am still very fond of the extreme left. i was tantalized by a quote from che that was on the documentary last night: "i don't have anything to leave to my wife or children after i die. but that's alright. i know the state will provide the things they need to live and get an education."
it's a sort of dream of irresponsibility. this idea that in a perfect socialist world, one would be free to go do something crazy like fighting for one's beliefs, without the worry of "taking care of things."

what it all comes down to is that the right and left both see the other as taking away individuality. and, yes, in extreme situations, both can and do. but in ideal situations, both are about enhancing human life.
i suppose the left appeals to me because of that sense of freedom, that the state will take care of trifle matters like healthcare. the bohemian dream.
no one could live in opulence, but that doesn't bother me, because why would one want to? the goal in life should be small things, and big ideas.