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Dear human worm babies,

I am in the motherland! Things here are mostly the same, which is to say that everything is very, very dirty. However, people are driving nicer cars, there is more variety in the supermarkets, and there seems to be pleanty in general.
My mom is wonderful. Adnan: I told her you said hello, and she has attempted to teach me the art of the make-up, as per your request. It is not going well, as I have no grasp of anything subtle.
I am wonderfully relaxed. I do nothing but eat, sleep, and allow people to buy me things. Life is sweet.

Happy Boxing Day, and I'll see you January 5.