body

MARCH BREAK!!!!!!!

i am happy ^_^ i must say, life is not too bad. certainly, i have these fits of insecurity, but i'm trying very hard not to let them get to me.
see, recently i've been talking to people a lot, because i've been so unsure about myself and the people i love, and there was no reason for it.
i have this problem: let's say i want to see or talk to someone who i'm very close to, but i've just seen or talked to them recently. i'll have all this angst about it, and be absolutley convinced that i'm forcing myself on them. and that's not good. because a) if they love me, they'll wanna see me too, and b) it causes me to invent problems where there are none.
the core of the problem is that some evil part of my brain (probably that self destructive part which i though i had gotten rid of) keeps telling me that the people i love don't love me back.

i spent all of sunday crying aobut this, nitpicking over details that to a healthy person would be microscopic. but then i got to talk to addy and max and mitul and mehaik, and i felt so much better... and today i was able to look at the world and know i was loved.

i'm gonna visit U of T on thursday and friday. i was resisting visiting any universities, but i decided to cave for this one.
oh, and march 8th was womens day: happy women's day to all the sexy ladies out there! (in yugoslavija, we don't celebrate mother's day, but we always make a huge deal of women't day - we get stuff for moms, grandmas, aunts, sisters, neibours, teachers... all the special and important women in out lives, because without them we'd crubmle into a pile of useless dust. and boys, remember to tell your girlfriends that ^_^)