Happy (belated) Solstice!

I alologize to my readers, but updates will have to wait until my triumphant return to North America!

Saturday was wonderful. I picked Josh up from the airport and we went to his grandma's to celebrate Hanukkah. There was lots of yummy yummy food, and lots of family fun.
Alexis got me three books of poetry by e.e. cummings, and some funderpants. I was one happy girl.
Also - Did you know Vega's birthday is only weeks away? And did you know that a lot of the things she wants take 5-6 weeks to deliver? Maybe you should check out her wishlist, and buy her something NOW.

I'll be leaving for Yugoslavia on Tuesday, and will return on the 25th. I will be checking my e-mail regularly while I'm away, so write to me, otherwise I will be sad. -_-

Happy Holidays!

Stolen from Adz, because I love these:

1. What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with or had sex with?
David.

2. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
Nice, full-bottomed panties. Black.

3. What is the song you want played at your Funeral?
"My Way" by Frank Sinatra.

4. What Would Your Last Meal be before getting executed?
A big platter of sushi on one side, lots of Desi food on the other. Chai latte to drink.

5. Beatles or Stones?
Beatles.

6. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who would it be?
Donald Rumsfeld, I suppose. I Brittany Spears, before she can procreate.

7. The person whose problems you would never want to hear again?
Crazy people on the street.

8. What is the thing most important to you (as far as physical) about the preferred sex?
Good composition.

9. Do you secretly hate some of your friends but are too nice to reject them?
I don't *hate* anyone, but I get annoyed with everyone on a rotating basis, and dislike them for a while.

10. If you could have any super power what would it be?
Functional wings. If that doesn't count, then telekinesis.

11. Favorite hangover cure:
Point and laugh at hangover person.

12. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
I would imagine one, since I've never tried and I probably have no tolerance. Of course, it's possible that the Serb genes will prevail, and I might be able to down a whole barrel of shljivovica or rakija like a pro.

13. Favorite song lyrics?
Right now it's: "Stein um Stein mauer ich dich ein / Stein um Stein / Ich werde immer bei dir sein," but that changes hourly.

14. Hair color you most like someone you're dating to have?
I'm happy with what I got.

15. If you had to be blind or deaf?
Deaf. I can imagine getting along without sound, but to not be able to see the world... It's too overwhelming an idea.

16. Do you have any psychiatric problems?
Not officially.

17. Siblings that should go to rehab?
They're both fine as they are.

18. Least favorite month?
May. It's usually the most humid.

19. First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
There's a whole bunch of animated movies that I can't separate in time: "The Land Before Time," "Oliver and Company" "The Sword in the Stone," "Snow White," "Lady and the Tramp..."

20. Favorite person in the whole world?
Josh. I'm a sucker. ^_^

21. When was the last time you went on a date?
End of August, I guess.

22. Do you like violent movies or dirty movies?
I'm not into violence, so I guess "dirty," whatever that means.

23. Fall or spring?
Spring.

24. Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
n/a

25. What person of the same sex would you do it with?
Boy, that's a thought one... Ingrid Bergman?

26. Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle?
That town in India where the Dalai Lama lives.

27. Who is the person or persons you can count on most?
All my friends, excluding Sean. :p

28. If you could date any celebrity past or present, time and age are not factors?
George... <3 <3 <3

29. What books have you pretended you've read?
My texbooks.

30. What's a word you would use to describe your life
Bipolar.

31. Favorite drinking game?
Telling people what I really think about them when they can't really understand me. I'm terrible.

32. What did you dream last night?
There were yellow gobuols... and I think I solved some QM stuff...

Today in my German tutorial, we ate cookies and sang German Christmas songs. Tragically, there was no egg nog.

I have a cold. I was thoroughly miserable yesterday, but I feel much better today. I think my plan of sleeping, lying around, and eating a lot is working.

I'm not sure if I should be looking forward to this week or dreading it. I have a problem set due tomorrow (No need to say, haven't started it yet.) and my O&W final on Friday, followed by my QM final on Tuesday. Later that same day, I'll be flying out to Yugoslavia, which I am not looking forward to as much as I once had.
On the other hand, Josh will be home on Saturday, and we will be going to his grandmother's for Hanukkah dinner - and presents!
I think I'm still going to choose to dread the coming week, because my dad will be sure to saddle me with enough guilt that I won't be able to enjoy Saturday anyway.
I don't think I mentioned it before, but my dad has quilting me out down to an art. I had a pretty miserable time last weekend when Josh was here, because I kept on thinking about how mad my dad was going to be at me for going out and not studying. The rational part of my brain tells me this is ridiculous - I don't care what he thinks, and besides, I'm more likely to stare for hours at Archduke Ferdinand than study - but I worried none the less.

This is turning into one of those posts where I ramble about my miserable life... Of well, I'm entitled to: my nose is congested. Nothing can be right in the world when I'm congested.

Perhaps it'll do me some good to think about the nice things coming up: Boxing Day shopping with the girls, spending a whole week in school-free socializing heaven, New Years... Heck, even my Birthday^TM isn't that far away (and shouldn't you be checking my wishlist?).

I leave you with this: This morning, hours before I needed to get up, I found myself half awake, and trying to figure out something about Quantum Mechanics. I figured it out, but can no longer remember what "it" was, nor how to solve it.

I have decided to make some changes here at body. Perhaps you've even noticed it already. I have decided to start capitalizing my sentences!
I've decided that I'm a grown-up now, and it's about time I started typing like one. If I want to have a unique voice, I should create it by what I say, not how I say it.

So, having established that, let me share some thought about my week:
1) I love Indian food. I've had a great week in terms for food. In particular, on Tuesday Sean and I went to Tandoori Flavour, and I was one happy girl. It's been so long since I've had my tongue screaming at me. It was so yummy and spicy... mmm... I want it again...
2) Sean r0x0rs.
3) Adnan also r0x0rs. I got to see him on Saturday, and it was so nice to let go and just relax and have my best boy around.

I'm feeling happy for no reason in particular.

salut! the last time i posted was the 22nd, so lets do a quick review of my week:

tuesday - i followed my usual routine of school and homework, until about 10:00 pm, when kate and rob picked me up to go the the airport and pick up josh. ^_^ he arrived at about 11:00, there were hugs and kisses, and then i went home.
wednesday - hanging out with josh.
thursday - hanging out with josh in the early afternoon, following by cleaning out fredinand's bowl (the things i write in my agenda...).
friday - dinner with josh, kate and rob, and two of their friends at swiss chalet. most of us got the "festive special" only because it comes with lindor chocolates, and we are slaves to chocolate. then josh and i went to the kingsway to see shaun of the dead. sean joined us about fifteen minutes into the show. the movie was lots of fun, and wasn't scary at all - a blessing for scardy cats like me.
saturday - we went to josh's grandma's for dinner, followed by an amazing night at the phoenix with sean and greg.
sunday - dinner at josh's dad's.
monday - took josh to the airport. comforted self with two cups of chai latte.

i miss him, but he'll be back in ten days, so it's not so bad. my only real concern is what to get his gangsta brother for hanukkah...

i loathed the last two entries i wrote, so i've deleted them, and replaced them with:
the ultra super post of dooom!!

last tuesday i got the new rammstein album, reise, reise. i was madly excited about it's release. in fact, tuesday was the day it was released in north america, and i got it at 10:15 am, the earliest possible time i could. i might even have been the first to get it at that particular HMV...
in either case, the CD was amazing. sean called me that night and asked if i had had a chance to listen to it yet, and i said "yes. five times."
i adore every single track. the boys have grown up in some ways, but what they do they still do well. so, so well...

friday mehaik came over, in what i think was the first time in about two months. she got me a wonderful diwali gift: a fish whom i have named Archduke Ferdinand. he looks like a normal goldfish, except under his eyes are two huge pus-filled sacks. he is beautiful.
i've noticed a lot of strange fish behaviours while observing him. for example, he likes to do headstands. for no reason at all, he will wiggle his way into a perfectly vertical position, head down, and stay that way for a few minutes. then he realizes he looks like a retard, and rightens himself again.
he also takes forever to poop.

mehaik and i then went out to see the movie kinsey. i think my overall rating would be that it was good, but not great. i did make me wonder about how much of it was true, and how much fiction.

then on saturday i went with miranda, her sister, and her mother to see othello at hart house. before the show we had dinner at an indian place, and it was the blandest, least spiced indian food i've ever had. sometimes i think the owners of the restaurants discriminate against us because we're white, and don't add in as much spice in our food. it's quite upsetting.
othello was long, very long, but also very well put together. in fact, i don't think i would have cared about the length if the seats were more comfortable. the sets, lighting, and music were great.

and that brings us to today. professor savard is a sadist, and i can only wonder at how i'll get this problem set done.

josh is coming home tomorrow!!! :::dance dance dance wiggle:::
don't expect to see me for a while ^_-

maybe it's because he just sent me a really sweet e-mail, but i suddenly felt like telling everyone the following:
i love josh lots and lots and lots, in fact, i love him so much that it makes me want to dance.
::::wiggle::::

pfft! take a look at this BBC news article.

the thing that bothers me is all these people who are saying "oh, but we need president bush to protect us from the big, bad terrorists!"
terrorists my ass. why haven't they caught osama bin laden yet? because he's on the white house payroll!

what will it take to wake people up and show them that the only terrorists are the religious right, who are simply trying to distract them while they snatch away their human rights!

quantum mechanics made difficult

i have learned the sad, sad truth about textbooks: the thinner the textbook, the harder to read. the thicker the textbook, the easier to understand, but the harder on my back.

my lungs are revolting against me. walking to the subway this morning, i had to sit down and catch my breath. nice lady stopped and asked if i was okay.

tiny voice from within vega's chest: viva la revolution!

as you may or may not know, i luv teh quizzage. hence, i have stolen the following from adnan:

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"of interlocking themes held together by a thread of history: the history"

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
my dad' bill for his president's choice mastercard.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
fresh prince off bellaire

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
11:45 am

5. Now look at what time it actually is:
11:43 am.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
um.. some song on the edge whose title and artist i don't know.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
i was outside 45 minutes ago, when i returned from school.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
the oike toike

9. What are you wearing?
black pants, happy-face socks, happy-face watch, and a pink shirt with an orange velvety front.

10. Did you dream last night?
no. but the night before i had strange election-related dreams.

11. When did you last laugh?
yesterday, hanging out with sean.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
clock, lots of reproduction paintings, a mayan calendar.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
not really.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
i like this kind of quiz.

15. What is the last film you saw?
"meeting place," i think.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
my education, then a swankin place to live.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
i secretly want to be war correspondent for a major news network.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
i would make everyone socially left-wing.

19. Do you like to dance?
yes.

20. George Bush:
needs to get stabbed in the eye.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Gryphon.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
River.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
maybe, but not really. if all my friends leave the country, then i might consider living in europe. otherwise i'd stay right here.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"nuts to you, vega, i DO exist!"

i had to tell everyone: i bought some starbucks chai latte concentrate. you boil milk, and add the stuff, and voila!
so i just wanted everyone to know that i am enjoying the perfect cup of chai latte, and am happy.

vega's spoooooky halloween!

last week, greg invited me to the phoenix for this saturday (yesterday). later that day, i hear on the radio that this is the night that the edge is having their halloween event, and they will be giving our marilyn manson CDs and tickets to his upcoming concert. i am super hyped! maybe they'll play a whole bunch of his song! maybe it'll be all goth rock!

i tell this to greg, and he and his brother ditch out on me. they loathe our poor antichrist superstar, and don't want to go. i am sad.
i resign myself to doing nothing for halloween. i vaguely toy with the idea of going by myself, but know, deep down inside, that i won't.

then last night i talk on the phone with josh, and he convinces me that i should go anyway. and i say, "hell yeah!" so i put on my ears and head out.
i ran into stan and a friend of his at islington station, so that made the ride into town a lot more fun.

i get into line for the phoenix at about 11:15 pm. tragically, i underestimated the fact that people like to go out on halloween, and at midnight i was still in line (although it may be worth noting that i was about 15 min away from entering). i have a pass that allows me to get in any saturday before midnight. since that hour had come, and i didn't want to pay cover, i went home.

some of you may think this was a waste of a night and a disappointing event all in all. i disagree. i didn't have any emotions concerning the events, so i can't label the evening as good or bad. however, i did very much enjoy the costumes i got to see. some people really went all out, and it was quite amazing to see.

warning: vega complains about her miserable existence

wednesday i had my O&W midterm. it was surprisingly easy. it was as if the prof knew i was doing badly on the problem sets, and made a midterm just for me.
the happy feelings caused by this were wiped out today, when i miserably failed my QM midterm. of the 4 questions, i could only do 1.
the logical thing to do is drop the course, since i can't possibly pass it, and if i drop now it won't affect my GPA. but i can't imagine how i'm going to bring up that idea to my dad... he doesn't take well to these "progressive" ideas towards education.

i'm also feeling very down about josh.
when we first started dating, all my friends were on my back about how he never gave me flowers or did romantic stuff for me. but i stood my him and insisted that such gestures don't really matter.
but i suppose even i have my limits. and his general insensitiveness, his inability to make time for me, is taking it's toll on me.
i understand we can't afford to talk daily... but considering our average conversations last 15-25 minutes, i wish he could consistently take time every other day to talk to me. but he can't. and we haven't had a proper conversation since tuesday (not that we haven't talked: i called, only to have him tell me he was unavailable, and not call me back).
i sway between being angry at him and being simply lonely for him.

and that's my miserable life.

well, i think we ALL knew that:

Which Sin Are You?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
You are...	Lust
This fun quiz by chibigarm - Taken 171443 Times.

New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

i don't know what it is - i've been wanting to blog all week, but nothing's been coming out. in fact, i've logged into blogger several times, started typing, then decided i didn't care and logged out.

the past week had been a delicate balance between the unspectacular and the depressing, with only one exception.

that exception is when vit, sonja and i went to see "the meeting place," a serbian movie at the bloor cinema. serbian movies are always great, i kid you not. the translation was a bit disappointing, which is sad since it kind of turns me off of taking non-serb friends there, but the movie itself was the usual funny, insightful, and delightfully ethnic scenario i have come to love and expect.

the rest of my time has been spent avoiding, at the cost of my life, preparing for my midterms. something inside me refuses to get to work. not that it matters much, since i will fail O&W and QM no matter what i do. jesus himself couldn't get me a passing grade.
it's all rather depressing. as i've offhandedly mentioned, but refused to talk about in detail, i've been having suicidal thoughts. it's funny, because i'm not emotionally depressed, my life just seems logically and objectively pointless. i'm no good at what i'm doing, i don't want to do anything else, ergo my life is pointless and should end.
i'm not the only physics specialist feeling that way.

poor mitul, struggling with physics. but let me assure you, my dear, that you are not alone. the fact that i am majoring in the subject does not mean that i have any special talent in it it's more like this:
person 1: hey, what's that?
person 2: oh, nothing. vega's just failing physics again.
i have the same problem as you - no matter how hard i try, how much i read and re-read the textbook, how much i ask my friends for help, i still get my problem sets back with a nice big F on the front.
(note: this is hyperbole. they don't actually write the letter grade)
(note 2: i have so far got back two problem sets, one in O&W and one in QM. the marks were 5/15 and 9/15 respectively. the real agony is that 3/4 of the class got a B or better on them)

but enough of these sad, sad thoughts. let us instead reflect upon vega's glorious weekend of glory!!!^TM
it started out with drama - the subway was having a fit, and by the time i got ON the subway at spadina i should have been getting OFF at islington. as a result, i got home at 3 on friday, and almost immediately ran back out the door.
kate drove me to the airport. the lines weren't too bad, but my plane was delayed a bit. the plane was the tiniest little thing i've ever seen! it seated 39 passengers.
the flight was very short. i got to boston's logan airport, took the subway and then the train.
i got off the train at worcester, looked around, and saw josh running towards me. ^_^ i ran to him and we hugged and we both had so much momentum that it quite hurt.
we went to a coffee place called the java hut with two of his friends, and then went home.
we did nothing you want to hear about, except possibly watching ella enchanted and moulin rouge, both of which were awesome. go jimi mistry!
i got home, and am now here.
i had the most amazing and wonderful and magical and brilliant weekend. ^_^ i can't wait to do it again.

josh roxors my soxors.

i waxed my legs.
i'm hardcore now, baby.

as i was leaving ol' mclennen today, i notice i headline on one of the UofT news papers. it had to do with a lecture that was presented last tuesday, on abortion. i had intended to go to this lecture, but it was at 5pm, etc., etc., etc.
the title of the lecture was "abortion is genocide."
now, i would argue against that hypothesis simply on the basis that genocide is a systematic process for a specific purpose benefiting a specific group (eg. the nazis, the khmer rouge, the KKK), and there is clearly no cohesive group of people forcing women to have abortions. but that's beside the point.
the speaker was using that comparison because she felt that the common denominator between all acts of genocide is denying the personhood of the victims.

now this is where it gets interesting.
if you wanted to know my frank opinion on personhood, i think that a human does not acquire it until about 18 months of age. i base this opinion on conversations i have had with several people, all of whom identified a specific moment at about that age when they had the thought: i am me.
i too have such a recollection, at about age 2. after that i can't remember anything else until age 7 or so.
but, of course, if i went around saying that toddlers should have no more rights than a dog, people would think i'm crazy.

but let's go with this idea.
our society already condemns the mistreatment of animals. if you were to beat and starve your dog, you'd be arrested and fined. not as much, certainly, as you would be if you beat and starved your child.
but if you said "this dog will utterly ruin my life," and then kill it in the most efficient way possible, no one would blame you. your life, as a person, is worth more than the life of a non-person, even though frivolously destroying ANY life is abhorable.

so, yes, i agree that the question of the morality of abortion is a question of personhood. but that itself really is a tricky problem.

i'm curious about other pro-choice opinions. to those who are pro-choice: why?

setting: last night. elf logs onto MSN.
elf: what's the answer to #5 on the QM problem set?
jerod: i got about 17.5
elf: poo. i think i'll track down someone else who solved it with a conservation-of-energy method.

setting: later that night, on the phone.
elf: what's the answer to #5 on the QM problem set?
branimir: i got about 17.6

so i'm sitting there, looking at my result of 257 MeV, thinking i need to drop out of school. thinking this in a calm, rational manner.
i've gone over the problem again and again. i KNOW my algebra is good. but it's not working out... it's not working out... and i need to drop out of school.

this morning on the subway, all of this struk me as odd. i take out my calculator and the textbook. and, lo and behold, i find the problem. my algebra HAD been all correct, it was my arithmetic at fault: where the given value was 100 MeV, i have been plugging in 500.
i did it all again, the calculator says 17.6, and i whack myself on the head (really, on the subway i hit myself in the head with a calculator. i deserved it).

ugh.

so, funny how life works and how coincidences play out. i've been thinking of learning to play the violin or the sitar, one or the other, for months and months now. but it never panned out.
then, i look at my blog the other day and find a note from ipshita. i look at her blog, and find she plays the sitar. i e-mail her about it, and she tells me about the sitar school or toronto. i just e-mailed them, and pending they quote me a good price and so forth, i'm going to do it.
:::joy joy joy:::
i love it when things like this fall into my lap. makes it all so much easier.

also, ipshita, if you're reading this: i think we're soulmates. we both love linwood barclay!

so yesterday i wasn't feeling too great. so i went downtown and hung out with sean and greg. i got me some toe socks (woot!).
then, greg once more showed that he is the most wonderful, most generous person in the world by buying my a big 25" plush nemo ^_^ i slept with it last night, and i've got to say, i've never sleapt with plush toys, but i likes it.
then we walked by the edge studios, and watched a group of girls perform, and they were pretty good (and we all agreed the bass player was hot). we never did find out what the band was called...

tonight i'm taking myself to see Drona, presented by those crazy odissi dance people. it's going to be amazing, and i look forward to raving about it.

first of all, i like this:

Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	Meant for eachother
Your meeting was by	Destiny
They are your	Hero
You are their	One and only
Your love will	Be the epitome of what true love is
Quiz created with MemeGen!

i talked to josh last night. sadly, he called just as i was having another break down - this one to do with my sense of career identity. i've been having a pretty miserable few days, and i really hate that i have to dump that on him...
none the less, after i calmed down (and ate) i felt immeasurably better for having talked to him.

off to finish a problem set.

last night rob and kate took me to hear a lecture by lee stanstead entitled to the glory of man, about the development of renaissance art, and particularly about michelangelo's david. it was really excellent.
kate and rob seemed to feel that lee wasn't as emotional during this lecture as he usually is, but i didn't really feel that way. i felt it was a great lecture, and if i had to dislike anything about it, it would be the volume of his voice, which was a bit overwhelming.

i've noticed my health lately has been going down the crapper. i've been sick twice in three weeks, and i very often feel tired, queasy, can't fall asleep at night, and have irregular body temperature. my most common complaint is feeling sick to my stomach for about five minutes at a time, once or twice per day.
now, if someone else told me of such complaints, i'd say "it's stress, no doubt about it." but i don't feel very stressed out... at least i don't think i do. though i do admit that school work is starting to pile up and i'm not really getting it.

you know how profs say, "feel free to ask if you don't understand something: there are no stupid questions." i have discovered that this is false. yesterday, in my O&W tutorial, oliver (the TA) is saying: "so if A is less than B, then what's under the root is a complex number and blah blah blah..." ten minutes later, a guy asks: "hold on, hold on! but you're saying A is less than B? isn't it a complex number then?"
YOU GOTTA STAY ON TOP, POEPLE!!! and it's not just that the guy didn't hear what oliver said - everything oliver was talking about for those 10 minutes pivoted on the fact that it was a complex number!

today is a glorious day ^_^ at some undetermined point today, the phone will ring, and josh's voice will be on the other end. huzzah!

random picture 4 UUUUUUU!!!!

friday afternoon i got home, ate a sandwich, and headed right out again. i met greg, and we headed off downtown where we met sean. the three of us had dinner at swiss chalet, and then played some pool at a place called VIP, or something like that. it was actually kind of neat, because i don't play pool and i assumed i would be terrible at it, but i was actually kind of okay. in fact, greg and sean both said i did better than them.
we then walked back to SMC to catch the MagicBus for the SMC Toga Party. we arrived, only to find out that we were in the extreme minority of people who did not wear togas. at the time that we were waiting for the bus, only some organizers and a bunch of foreign exchange boys were there, and the exchange boys made fun to no end of us for our non-toga ways.
the MagicBus ride was, of course, great. we screamed out the windows and sang along to the music and had a gay old time.
when we arrived at the church - the venue for the party - sean and greg felt so bad about not having togas, that we ran down the street to find a convenience store, open at 11pm, and selling table cloths. sean and greg each got one - checker-board-patterned plastic table clothes, held in place with safety pins. i think this adventure was the highlight of the evening.
the party itself was not that great. when will i learn not to go to those things? but i'm glad to at least be able to say that i've been to a toga party.

yesterday i had a massive break down. i felt rather sick last night (and am still not feeling to great) and i sat on the couch watching cast away. as the evening wore on, i had my break down. i suddenly got very depressed about josh being away, and started thinking all sorts of terrible thoughts. it's like some sort of barrier broke, and where i had been okay for the past week-and-a-half, i just couldn't be okay any longer.
i think i'm feeling better now, but i can't stand to have to wait another 2 days to talk to him.

also, happy fall equinox (i'm only 4 days late...).

more physics wisdom from pierre savard!

"This is a yak." (shows picture of a yak) "And this is Coulomb's Law." (shows Coulomb's Law)

i think that moment alone may have changed how i feel about professor savard.

i learned something about myself today: i am too good a person. before you think that i'm being arrogant, let me tell you the story.
last night, i had a dream. in this dream, as in real life, josh had just left for school in worcester. but then, somehow, i meet george stroumboulopoulos (yes, THE george stroumboulopoulos, the object of my eternal adoration). so, naturally, he wants to get in my pants. things are going well, and i am very much interested in learning more about his ineffably hot body. but then, my subconscious decides that it is too noble for this. i say, "no george! i love josh, and i must be faithful to him!"
at this point i wake up and kick myself. curse my unbending ethics!

today i wore my ears to school. i think it was a success.

today's physics wisdom:
"nuclear weapons are bad, particle accelerators are good."
- pierre savard

today was lab day, and it wasn't as horribly terrifyingly bad as i had thought. then pierre savard gave us a lecture on something, but we're not sure what.

i still think that songs to wear pants to is one of the coolest sites ever. i am hereby pushing it on you. ::push push push:::

and finally, this:

1. Think of a word you would use to describe me.
2. Go to Google Image Search and search for that word.
3. Select the picture you see as most fitting, and post it as a reply.
4. Post this meme in your journal.

i have a confession: i secretly want to go to pearls: a natural history at the rom. i don't know why. but the poster captivated me when is saw it on the subway. and, i mean, c'mon! PEARLS!

there's something i've recently noticed, something new on campus. hotties. lots and lots of hotties. i realized it on the very first day of class.
example: my german TA. she's from germany, here for a year on some sort of study-abroad deal. she's been in toronto for a month. she's your typical blue-eyed blonde german. and she's terribly distracting. especially since she conducts most of the class in german - that seems to add a delicious foreign flair to her.

life has been... living. i'm having no luck concentrating on school. forcing myself to do homework is a real job, and i'm ages and ages behind in oscillations & waves. i pick up the book, start reading, finish one paragraph, then start pacing the room for twenty minutes. then another paragraph, and so on.

my health hasn't been too super either. i've not been able to regulate my body temperature properly. i think it's all settling down now: i'm not sneezing any more, and my nose is almost mucus free. in a few days i should be fine.

the other day we got the sears catalogue in the mail, and i've got two words for you my friends: TOE SOCKS!!! i've been trying to find them for ages, and i guess it was just too early in the year for them. but sears at least will soon be selling them, and i will be living in glorious toe sock excess!
and also spongebob merchandise.
go spongebob!

i saw jeff the other day, and he bought my airline ticket for me, using his magical visa card of power. i hope i'm not being too presumptuous, buying it so far in advance. but i just wanted to have the paper in my hand and be sure it was all booked and payed for. and, to be honest, a big part of the reason i've been having trouble concentrating on studying is because my brain is occupied by a certain someone in a forest in massachusetts. and if the prices should all plummet over the next three weeks, well, que sera, sera.

for quite a while now, i've wanted to blog. but every time i sit down at the computer, my inspiration leaves me. so i'm spoting parts of a letter i sent mitul, so to catch people up on my life:

Speaking of how time flies, I saw Mehaik today, and I was asking her about her family. Her youngest brother is 13 now, and it's so strange to me because I've known him since he was only a baby. Her other brother picked up the phone when I called, and his voice had changed! I can't tell you how strange it is that these kids are growing up. It seems so hard to believe...

I dropped Josh off at the airport last Sunday. I mostly held my composure at the airport, but when I got home I fell apart. It hit me: "He's not here... he's not here." I was mostly okay after that. It's actually kind of strange, since I miss him, but it's not painful (I think that's because I've accepted it and there's nothing I can do). But I notice his absence in everything I do. I made plans to see Sean, and I notice I can't ask Josh to come. I want to see a movie, and I can't see it with Josh. I don't have much homework one night, but I can't visit him, etc., etc., etc.
Jeff is helping me buy tickets to go visit Josh the weekend of October 15 (the weekend after Thanksgiving).

My father has, of course, been very supportive (insert sarcasm here). He says things like "If I were a teenager, I'd say 'Sure I have a girlfriend, but I want 10 more,' and I'd screw around and cheat." My father seems completely oblivious to the fact that such statements don't make him very popular with me.
I had hoped that when Josh left my dad would find something else to complain about. Sadly, that is not the case.

School is going very well. Almost surprisingly so. The profs aren't all great, but it's made up for by the fact that the textbooks are all wonderful. I'm staying on top of my homework. I've even got a study group set up, like I said I would, and we'll meet next week for the first time.

Mostly I've been at home reading. I saw Sean once last week, and I saw Mehaik today. I'll likely see Sean and Greg tomorrow. I'm glad that I've been able to socialize that much.
On thursday, in my lab, I was able to get to know a whole bunch of physics people. I'm really happy about that: I feel like I finally know people, like I have a little community into which I fit.

you! human! go here! see puctures of vega, josh, and zak at renfest and be amazed.

::: happy shudder :::
ooh baby... the computer in my dad's room, the one that has all my stuff on it, now has a sound card.
it has been far too long since i have herd till's sweet german voice wooing me...
that's all i can say at this time. i'm afraid i'm too busy cumming.

life sucks. i hate my life.

sure, the weekend started out well enough. josh and i decided to finally go check out the savage garden. and yeah, that didn't turn out too well. the people outside the club were completely goth, and gave us dirty looks because we weren't.
we wandered further down the street, and decided to go to the funhaus. that was good. the music was super, and everyone was so relaxed and free and un-pretentious.

i spent the night at josh's place, and we had a very relaxing morning. it was especially nice when we were sitting in the yard, drinking our coffees, and listening to the cicadas. it was one of those perfect, warm summer mornings.

and then i got home. my dad was furious with me. the answering machine ate the message i left last night, so he didn't know that i was spending the night out. he was also generally outraged, because, as he told me, his sisters never spent a night away from home until they were married. he went on to say a few mean things about josh, for good measure.

it was tense around here until he left an hour ago, and i, come to think of it, am still tense. i wanted cream-cheese on toast, but the cream-cheese was covered with mould. now there's nothing to eat.

i hate everything right now.

woo! we now know the title and tracklisting of the new rammstein album!!! i wants it... i needs it... precioussss....

also, this morning i got a letter from the michael moore mailing list concerning how bush has been treating kerry's vietnam experience. it's a real shame, because kerry is loosing lots of votes with veterans. i think this is mind boggling. BUSH DID EVERYTHING IN HIS FATHER'S POWER NOT TO EVEN GO! and this isn't like clinton, who was a conscientious objector. dubya just didn't want to get hurt.
bah. war is dumb, anyway.
oh, and also, i'm am getting VERY pissed off at the way republicans can't finish one sentence without mentioning god.

on a lighter note, mandy, josh and i went to see the two gentlemen of verona, presented by shakespeare in the rough. it was a really excellent performance. it was funny, there was cross-dressing, and the actors used lots of physical comedy, which was super. i'm thinking this is something i'd like to do again in the future.

so, you may have been asking yourself: where is the elf? how could it be that in this time where so much is happening, i've written so little?
well, my friends, i have been trying to avoid blogging, for fear that i would have to publicly announce my poor academic state. you see, i was running a very real risk of being suspended from UofT.
fortunately, yesterday i got my calc mark back, and it was... a glorious B! in fact, this is the best grade i've got in university so far. i am not gonna get suspended, and, in fact, since my CGPA is now 1.6, i'm not even on academic probation. i'm in good standing.

yesterday i got a call in the afternoon from josh, asking me to help him clean all his laundry. somewhere between the fact that the washing machine in the new house is crap and the fact that he is comfortable living in his own filth, he decided to go to the Magic Coin Laundry to do everything. it was a surprisingly fun time.
we went back to his place, tidied up, and then i learned of MY GLORIOUS GRADE!!!
as you can imagine, i was very happy with the results.

i'm really looking forward to the new school year. i'm feeling very eager to go to class, to learn, to study. i was telling josh yesterday that i think the most important thing i learned this year was that "work is play." i got so overwhelmed with all the little things i had to do, that i forgot that, at the end of the day, math and physics are FUN. i wrote about the calculus party i had last spring, and how much i enjoyed that. i also had a great time with summer school. i hope i will be able to maintain that sense of fun over the coming year, for the sake of my CGPA and of my sanity and health.

another piece of news is that josh is going to dynamy for sure now. that, of course, is a very sad and very happy thing for me. but i think that, overall, the time will pass quickly, and the benefits outweigh the problems.
i'm worried about how my dad will react to all of it.

i end by saying that i love my big squishy lovey yummy man. he is wonderful.

actually, i end with this:

What Fairy Are You? by bluemystique82
Name
Age
Pick one:	sweetcoldoldroughcreamyhollow
Fairy name	Penelope
You as a fairy
Quiz created with MemeGen!

life-of-elf count-down!

saturday, august 21
shopping downtown.

sunday, august 22
josh, his brother zak and i went to the renaissance festival. it was a lot of fun. there were lots of shows, and a public dunking, and lots of cool shops, and FUDGE! i hope to have pictures of said event posted soon.
we had dinner at lorne and debbie's new restaurant, the one in oakville. that one seems to be doing very well.

monday, august 23
mitul, adam and i went on an ADVENTURE to whitby. we watched "fight club," which was pretty much as i expected, and "love object," a movie about a man, the woman he loves, and his sex doll. it was immeasurably creepy, and i had trouble falling asleep because of it.
as always, whitby was boring, but sean was super cool, so it balanced out. ^_^

calc final on wednesday.
that means it's time to...

.

...cocoon.

Basics:
1. Full name: Biljana Vega Janic
2. Who were you named after: A star
3. Screen name: elf
4. Hometown: Belgrade
5. Location: Toronto

About Yourself
1. Height: 165cm
2. Hair color: Brown
3. Eye Color: Green
4. Shoe Size: 7.5
5. Birthday: January 18, 1985
6. Weight at Birth: Dunnno
7. Status: Taken

Who Is Your:
1. GF/BF: Josh
2. Worst Enemy: I currently don't have one, but am looking.

Do You Have...
1a. Sisters: 1
b. Name(s): Anna
2a. Brothers: 1
b. Name(s): Branislav

Describe Your Personality: A little bit of everything.

Your Favorite:
1. Color: Black
2. Teacher: Mr McIlroy, Mr. Chen, Mr. Heathcote, Mrs. Miller, Mr. Morris
3. Numbers: 18
4. Drink: Milk, "Jogurt," Mango Lassi, Starbucks Chai Latte
5. Animal: Elephant
6. Music Group: VAST
7. Snack: Soy beans
8. Candy: Wurthers chocolates
9. Ice Cream: Peanut butter
10. Day of The Week: Sunday
11. Holiday: Christmas
12. Food: Nigiri and Miso soup
10. Sport: Skiing
13. Place To Go: Europe
14. Movie: "American Beauty," "Moulin Rouge," "12 Monkeys" "The Guru" "Bowling for Columbine" "Big Fish" "Romeo + Juliet"

What Do You Think When You Hear:
1. Opposite Sex: A boy!
2. Nice looking girl: "What am I, chopped liver?"
3. Tight Pants (On Opposite Sex): Hi-larity.
4. Blue: Going outside
5. Orange: Orange
6. Yellow: happiness
7. Maroon: 5

Have You Ever:
1. Shop Lifted: no
2. Lied To The Cops: no
3. Lifted A Birdie To The Cops: no
4. Cursed In Front Of Your 'Rents: no, never
5. Cursed In Front Of Your Teacher: once, by accident (funny story)
6. Flunked A Grade: no
7. Skipped A Grade: no
8. Murdered Somebody: no
8. Dated Someone To Make Another Jealous: no
10. Felt Like Everyone Was Mad At You: yes
11. Lost A Close Friend To Death: no

Do You...:
1. Believe In Love At First Sight?: yes
2. Eat Chicken Fingers With A Fork?: yes
3. Sleep With A Ton of Stuffed Animals?: no

About the opposite sex...:
1. What Attracts You Most To Them?: Shoulders, how they walk, confidence, big brain
2. Does It Matter If They Have Money?: yes
3. Ideal Height: about 5" taller than me
4. Hair Color: dirty blonde
5. What Scent Do You Like Most On The Opposite Sex?: Eves Saint Laurant M7

Who Do You:
1. Tell All Your Secrets to?: Adnan
2. Have The Most Inside Jokes With?: Sean
3. Talk To About All Your Problems?: Josh, Mandy and Mit-Mit

Pick one:
1. Kiss or Hug?: Kiss
2. Being in a good relationship for a short time or a bad one for a long time?: Good and short
3. SNL or Mad TV?: SNL
4. 1 or 2 Pillows?: 2
5. Bath or Shower?: Bath
6. Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
7. Black or White?: Black
8. Night or Day?: Day
9. Ocean or Lake?: Ocean

Questions:
1. What show do you wish they would bring back on the air?: Thunder Cats
2. Is Your Appearance Important To You?: Somewhat
3. Are You Gonna Get Married?: I hope so
4. What College Are You Gonna Go To?: SMC@UoT
5. Are You Gonna Have Kids?: I suppose so
6. How Many? Konstantine says 4, 3 boys and a girl.
7. Boys Names?: Peregrine, River
8. Girls Names?: Gryphon

thoughts from the vega:

- why are there so many pieces of dead mice underneath the islington overpass?
- why are chocolate bar flavoured milkshakes so bad, but taste so good?
- why do i get mad at people, but not tell them that i'm mad?

week-in-the-life-of-elf count-down!

saturday, august 7
i hit up the taste of the danforth and masala!mhendi!masti! with mitul. it was a lot of awesomeness. ^_^ i spend $50 on stuff, and only $9 on food, so i'm quite proud of myself.

sunday, august 8
i worked on my problem set, then went over to josh's new house to help him unpack. i spent the night and my dad was mad at me... i dunno, spoiled an otherwise very pleasant night.

monday, august 9
finished helping josh unpack and went home. more work on problem set.

tuesday, august 10
went to class, more work on problem set.

hmm... this weeks count-down wasn't as exciting as i had hoped. oh well.

underpants

i have found the greatest, bestest, most amazing meme ever!

My Lingerie
Your LJ Username
Have you ever worn lingerie?
Your Lingerie
Accessories
Shoes
This Quiz by lovely_mouse - Taken 8548 Times.

Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

so the other day - yesterday, in particular - i meet up with sean at about 4:30 at union station. and i'm all like "i don't wanna work out today. it's too hot, and besides, we should call adnan in a half hour, and josh after that."

so we walk and walk. we walk to college station and call. it is 5:05. adnan does not pick up. and i'm all like:


so we sit down for a while, and talk. i call adnan again. it is 5:15. he does not pick up. and i'm all like:


so we sit and talk some more. i call adnan again. it is 5:23. he is now in the subway and cannot be reached. and i'm all like:


so sean and i keep walking. we go up young street until we get to wellesley. then we go east, into the gaybourhood, until we reach sherbourne. and i say: "let's get to the subway station and call josh, and we'll be like 'we're at sherbourne!' and he'll be all like 'ahhhhhh!!!'" (it's an inside joke. i'll tell you about it some time.)

so we get to the station and call josh. we get the machine. loose a quarter. call again. machine again. we are 50 cents poorer. call one last time, but to his cell. we sort of get him, except neither he nor i knows what the other is saying, because he gets no reception in his room. so i assume he said "no, i can't come out to play," and he never did find out we were at sherbourne.
and i was like:


so sean and i go east on bloor, until we get to the danforth. we take a tour of greektown, which was super-cool. there were lots of neat shops, and i wanna go again.

sean and i get almost to donlands, then we turn around and walk back the same way.
in all, we walked for 6 hours.
i was tired.

i have been eating like an idiot lately:
tuesday
breakfast: burger and fries, chocolate milk
dinner: slice of watermelon, water
snack: lollipop
yesterday
breakfast: pizza and milk
dinner: falafel, orange juice
snack: none
today
breakfast: cake
dinner: AMBIGUOUS!!!

also, the "big mysterious prom pics that rek took and no one ever saw" have been posted at the photobucket.

so, the other day i registered for my fall courses. i've hence updated my timetable. i think my fall schedule kicks.
i've got a midterm today. i'm kinda nervous.

and i leave you with:

Post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want.
Then post this to your journal.
See what people remember of you.

why, oh Internet, do you loathe me so!?!?!
i tried to upload a new website to elforium... and brinkster destroyed it. well, mostly the adds destroyed it. then, the new brinkster editor, which looked to neat and spiffy and easy to use completely mutilated the "sites" and "updates" pages of elforium. now they don't load at all, and you get a bunch of code.
it's disappointing, because, as i said, the new editor looked so spiffy and nice... but no.
and now i'm too lazy to fix it. i miss the days at envy.nu

todd, you loser - you started using smitten as you blog, and didn't tell me! i was still waiting for something to happen with your LJ!

also, elf now has a photobucket! what's more, i want to keep it open. so, mandy, mitul, addy, josh, sean, etc., if you wanna use it, just MSN me and ask for the password. bwa-ha-ha! we will rule the digital photo world!!

well, that wasn't so bad.
last night addy and i went to see "the saddest music in the world." at the kingsway. and it wasn't so bad because i didn't have any nightmares.
not that it was a bad movie. it was just massively freaky. for starters, it was in black-and-white, and had i known that, i likely wouldn't have seen it. i usually find b&w freaky (except for b&w movies about people from the deep south and their love lives - i love those). "saddest music" was occasionally funny, but the humor only served to make everything more disturbing and scary.
when we left the theatre, i told addy that i would have nightmares. so far, none to report.

big splishy splashy daaaay!!!
 
yesterday, i celebrated my half-birthday at wild water kingdom with mandy, jeff, greg, and josh. it was a very big splishy, splashy day.
it's kind of hard to describe, because it was a day full of water slides, wave pools, lazy rivers, fish and chips, funnel cakes, and yucky change-room floors, in no particular order.
 
there were those who told us not to go. "it's overcast!" they said "it's gonna rain and you'll get struck by lightning and dieee!!!" but the nay-sayers were wrong. certainly, it rained. but it rained for all of ten minutes, during which we had lunch. the rest of the day was overcast, but surprisingly warm. we ended up staying there almost until the park closed.
 
overcast or not, i got sunburned. i am such a fool... 
 

Post anything that you want as a comment, and post it anonymously. Anything.
A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your journal to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your journal) have to say.

[elf's edit - comments via backblog, not on the tag board]

admit it vega, just admit it. you've lost the writing bug.
i've always had difficulty committing to a writing project. i'd get bored and just give up. so i decided, ok, you're not a story writer.
and now, i'm just not angsty enough. i used to churn out two or three poems per week, and now i think it's been months since i've written anything. there's just no turmoil in my soul. there's nothing screaming to get out.
so yeah. maybe it's just time to admit that i'm not writing, and likely won't for a long time.

that, combined with my decision to give up on karate just further reminds me that i need a hobby. i need a "thing" that when people think of me, they think "oh yeah, vega, the one with the _______."
nuts.

1st of july - canada day!
mandy, jeff, greg, josh and i all went to parc downsview park. we arrived and then went out on a noble quest for food. we eventually found a pizza pizza, and sat on some stairs, eating and contemplating life. at this point, we realized my ears had come off - i hadn't put enough spirit gum on the right one.
i decided to take 'em off. usually, when i'm downtown or whatever and wearing the ears, people look, but they're used to teenagers doing crazy shit, so it's no big deal. but at the park, there were a lot of people who, shall we say, don't go downtown much. and i kept getting really shocked looks, and i felt uncomfortable.
we went back to the park and listened to spirit of the west and chantal kreviazuk and then enjoyed the fireworks.
the adventure portion of the evening began then. we decided to avoid the crowds by walking to sheppard subway station. we walked along what we thought was sheppard (i once again mention that my sense of direction was SO telling me that we were not walking east) until we realized we were actually on finch. we turned around and caught a bus, and all was well. but it was kinda fun being lost for a while.

july 2
stayed cocooned all day, working on my problem set.

july 3
went to see napoleon dynamite with evan and his friend jeff. the movie was alright, and the theatre - the carlton - was really cool. it has a real indie feel to it. i'm gonna want to go back.

july 4
spent the day with josh at his grandma's house. we went swimming in the pool, and it's pretty sad that it was the first time this year we've gone swimming. well, that's global warming for you - climate change for all!
dinner was yummy. that is all.

hey, go election!
i must say, this is the best possible outcome i could have imagined. no conservative government, but the liberals have lost enough seats to wake them up. and, of course, i'm very happy with how the NDP did, very good numbers - despite the fact that they didn't get as much of the GTA as they had hoped.
i hope this minority does as well as w.l.m. king's, or pearson and trudeau's did. i think it'll make things interesting.
also: in case you didn't know, you don't have to pay postage to send a letter to your MP, MPP, premier, or PM. so i've decided that any time something pisses me off, i'm telling jean augustine about it. hell, i'll tell mr. martin about it. i still feel as if *i personally* made a difference in getting him to meet with his holiness the dalai lama.

on a lighter note:

Jon Stewart, host of the Daily Show (required view, Monday through Thursday nights, 11 PM ET, Comedy Central) did an hour on Larry King last week. The spiritual highlight:

KING: What do you think about religion in politics?
STEWART: I think it should be there, but more. It's just not there enough.
KING: More?
STEWART: Yes. I feel like, you know, I feel like the best thing to do is to convince the country that our God is the one true God and that others are less.
KING: American God, you mean?
STEWART: Yes. The one that blesses us for our manifestness.
KING: He doesn't bless England.
STEWART: No. No. He doesn't care for them. He feels that they're pasty.
KING: Pasty?
STEWART: Pasty and he doesn't care for the food.
KING: But Canada.
STEWART: Happy to have them in the attic, but not so crazy about them in general.
KING: He's a judgmental God.
STEWART: Very angry. Loves the Americans. Very big. Wants us to have bigger cars. Wants us to have bigger cars and as a little goof on us has only made a finite supply of oil. It's very--he's very funny. He's a trickster. Here's another little joke he did. He promised three different religions they were the chosen ones, Judaism, Christianity and Islam, and then, funny, follow me, he put their holiest sites all in the same place. And then he backed away and he just wants to see who wants it more. That's what this is about. This is God going, hey, show me something, people.
KING: You kind of like him. You kind of like playing.
STEWART: I enjoy the mischief that he's making.

just got back from seeing fahrenheit 9/11, and i approve greatly.
it wasn't shocking at all, i was aware of everything he said, or it was not un-expected. but it was a well made, and often funny movie, that reminded me of why i hate war.

why vega hates war
if you are reading this, i can assume you are a flesh-and-blood human being, that you eat and shit like the rest of us, that you get mad and sad and happy and horny like the rest of us.
if so, then i can assume that, like the rest of us, you love at least one person in this world, deeply love them, with your whole heart. maybe it's your mother or father, or a brother or sister, a grandfather, grandmother, aunt, uncle, cousin, your lover, your best friend, or your dog.
now imagine that person (or pet). think of how happy you feel when you see that face. now imagine half that face ripped away, because that person was caught in a building that got bombed.
that's why i hate war.

there are no smart bombs: all bombs are stupid.

wooooork's out! for! summer!
wooooork's out! for! ever!

yes indeed, my days at elections canada are over! that means all i have ahead of me are long days of going out, seeing friends, wearing my ears, shopping, dining out, and spending time with my beloved.

merry christmas to all, and to all a good night!

hey guys, watcha wanna do for canada day? i saw in the metro yesterday that there's gonna be a concert and fireworks at downsview park, and spirit of the west will be there. anyone in? anyone have a cooler idea?

highlights of working for elections canada:

• random bets:
  
  
  
  1. janice vs. kelly - who can go the longest without a proper night's sleep? (janice won)
     
  2. kelly vs. vega and janice - does emily masturbate? (vega and janice won)
     
  3. vega, adnan, and others, vs. janice and others - who will lose their virginity first, greg or fuzzy? (still pending)
     
  
  
• the chair of doom - whoever sits in this chair or stands in the part of the room where the chair is, is guaranteed to say something stupid, then turn around, and see that the person who could possibly be most offended by the comment is standing in the door. for example, fuzzy said something mean about constantine, turns around, and sees constantine there. or the time janice was air-humping and saying "oh yes baby! you're so ugly!" only to turn around and see walt (our supervisor) there.
  
• people who think that we, personally, have anything to do with them not being on the list.
  
• a three-week-old baby who turned all the females into mush.
  
• the discovery that vega has TWO kryptonites: "the edwardian country house" and popcorn.
  
• dirty thoughts about george stromboulopoulos.
  
• humming the tetris theme song.
  
• jordan's criticism of the magazines.
  
• MS Paint.
  

i don't usually do this, but it was too hilarious not to:

Odd Analogy Regarding Cows And Corporations

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. They get stolen, so you blame the previous regime and steal someone else's cows and shoot the owner.

A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION
A farmer has two cows. You take over his farm, eat both cows and wait for the international community to supply more.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them world wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You pray to them for food.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left is kinda cute...

:::sad whimpering noises:::
i don't want the conservatives to win! they'll make abortion illegal! they'll scrap all the progress that's been made for gay marriage! there'll be no chance of decriminalizing/legalizing pot!
all we'll have instead is stephen harper (good god, can you imagine stephen harper as our prime minister?!) going down to the states and tossing george's salad, all the live-long day.
well, as i've said before: if we can't have a female prime minister, we may as well have harper and have a gay one.

but i'd rather have a party in power that cares about human rights and justice.
VOTE NDP!!!
(or liberal. i'll take what i can get.)

makes perfect sense to me:

elf18's LJ stalker is rekalus!

rekalus is stalking you because they have you confused with someone else whom they love. They are also stalking you in real life. Look out!

LiveJournal Username:

LJ Stalker Finder
From Go-Quiz.com

my lack of posting tells you all you need to know about my job - it's long.
i am looking forward to:
june 19th - jordan's birthday party
june 28th - election day!
july 1st - canada day!
july 3rd - addy's summer bash
july 18th - vega's half-birthday
go summer party plans!

also - i miss my mitul. i hope you e-mail/blog soon.

intense day.
first day of work. stayed there for 7 hours and did 2 hours of work. i console myself by telling myself that the workload will soon pick up, and right before the election we'll all be longing for the days when we could take breaks. either way, we got to the point where we were asking if we could clean the office, just to have something to do.
the intensity of the day came from some very raw conversations that were had.

went back to karate, after over a year of absence. it was amazing to be moving and sweating again, and i was impressed by how little i had forgotten. i was a bit rusty, no doubt, and slow to pick up on combinations, but i think i did pretty well.
now i'm all tired and healing my wounds with a bowl of cherries.

tomorrow i'm staying home to work on a problem set, then class, then i'm treating myself to go see eternal sunshine of the spotless mind at the kingsway. go team vega!

me: :::cough cough:::
man in elevator: you ought to take some syrup for that.
me: yeah, i was very sick last week. i've mostly recovered, but i've still got this coughing.
pause
man: remember, i said syrup, not liquor.
me: :::laugh:::
pause
man: although, liquor is pretty good too.

WTF!?!?! the manic street preachers released an album last year? i thought they all died or went crazy, like, back in '98. oh well... this can only be good news right?
only one way to find out... to the kazaa!

everything i have to say, i want to say to people. how weird is that?
today i'm gonna have a two-hour tutorial about stuff that is so basic and banal that i'm already bored. i'd skip, but i know i shouldn't and it's really bad form to skip on the first day anyway.

props to sean's bbq last saturday and to playing in the rain and to deserted neighborhoods where i can run up and down the street without anyone seeing.
props to finally getting to hang out with mehaik.

i'm hungry...

i feel obligated to post, but i don't really have anything to say. even though i had an amazing day downtown on wednesday with josh, sean, and rosana, and even though i had an adventure today with addy and sean, and we met andrew, and saw the outside of the anime convention, i don't feel like sharing details of that. so here's this:

I KNOW: what makes the sun burn.
I WANT: sushi. perpetually.
I HAVE: pep.
I WISH: gore had won.
I HATE: people who torture other people.
I MISS: my mom.
I FEAR: that i'll fall down the stairs while wearing heels and die.
I HEAR: green things. they're smart.
I SEARCH: for art in my life.
I WONDER: about fundamental particles.
I REGRET: a certain game of truth-or-dare.
I LOVE: josh.
I ACHE: when you do.
I CARE: too much.
I ALWAYS: have a daily sneezing fit.
I AM NOT: a nag. i'm just always right.
I DANCE: in my undies!
I SING: only when no one is around.
I CRY: over injustice.
I DO NOT ALWAYS: take care of myself.
I FIGHT: for truth.
I WRITE: poems journals and letters.
I CONFUSE: sadism and masochism.
I LISTEN: to my conscience.
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: in my room, or at mclen.
I NEED: to be healthier.
I AM HAPPY: like a goat.

part one: updates
i just got back from seeing bubba ho-tep at the kingsway. it was cheesy and unapologetically unrealistic and i couldn't think of a better way to spend $4 - it was very sweet. it is also the exact maximum amount of suspense that i can handle. all in all, a fine evening.

had my first day of summer school calculus today, and it was okay. the prof is kinda good looking, so having to look at him for six hours a week won't be too bad.

- - -

part two: recollections
last week, i was walking down montgomery rd. in the middle of the day, on my way to yet another job agency. all i was really thinking about was the smell of the grass and the intense heat on my back. i didn't really want to work. i wanted to go to a park and sit in the grass and walk in the river, and contemplate the bugs and tadpoles. i wanted to look at things that were real, really real, not this cold, hard, sterile bullshit of civilized life.
and i though, all humans (or at least all vegas) have two fundamental instincts: to love, and to wander. and the two are in conflict, because loving someone means having to put down roots, to stay in one place where your loved one is. and you'll forever have that other instinct inside of you, sometimes dormant, sometimes painfully awake, and you'll want to go and walk forever. but if you do, you'll be lonely.
today, coming back from the theatre, i thought about how i used to think those people who just up and sail around the world with their spouse are strange. it strikes me that they're not, not at all.
and i thought about how i still sometimes wish i could grow up and be a nomad.

people are never told enough how pretty they are. if you're reading this: i think you're pretty. and it's because if you're reading this, you love me, and your love is what makes you so beautiful.
that, plus your good looks.

so, what's new with me? i'm feeling excited about starting school. i have a lot of worries, too. i'm afraid that, despite the fact that i feel i know the material, i'll keep on freezing on tests. i'm afraid that i'll keep looking at numbers and just seeing numbers. but i'm excited because, as much as the math department tried to make me forget it, i love math, and i love calc, and all i need is a bit of confidence. i hope that during the summer term i'll regain my old ability to look at numbers and not see numbers, but to see a process, a step to take, a method, and a solution.

what else is new? i feel loved from all directions. i've noticed that i can't spend time with my friends without saying, at least once, "you guys totally rock," or "i love you." i guess i underestimated just how good my friends can make me feel, how genuinely happy they make me. then there's my dad, who has been completely amazing lately. i still can't get used to the change. last night when i got home, i was actually happy to see him and to talk about his day and my day. it's a really great feeling to come home and not be afraid of anything. and, of course, my beloved is amazing. we've been spending a lot of time together, and i was worried that i would get sick of him. but i was delightfully proven wrong. yesterday we got home and plopped on the couch and watched king of the hill and i felt very deeply happy to be there, to not worry about anything and just be enamored with skin.

as i said: love form all directions. and that, to me, sounds like an omen. why should all my relationship be going so well, all at the same time? the universe is telling me that it's time i fix the kinks inside of me. and, to make that endeavor easier, it has made all my relationships settle down and be healthier (i even talked to mehaik last night, for the first time in months). and i musn't be so foolish as to let this unique moment slip away. i am absolutely going to buy a violin on thursday. and after i get back home from doing some shopping, i'm gonna find me a sport to take up. i have two-and-a-half months ahead of me, and i have to use them. i have to find that aesthetic/spiritual thing that i'm currently missing.

just deleted some posts that were short and depressing and dumb. in case you were wondering.
so, last night, josh, max, syd and i went and saw troy. it was niiice - lots of topless brad. but none of us realized how long it was. around the middle of the movie i started to feel really antsy and sleepy, and i didn't know why, until we got out of the theatre and we saw it was 1:30 am.
i honestly think the best part of the evening was rushing to the subway. we exited the theatre through some sort of creepy concrete back hallway. then max lead us to the station, ducking and diving around the clubbers on the street. josh and i followed him, executing street gymnastics or something - lots to twirling and smiling.

there's also something new in my life... but i don't want to talk about it until i can get pictures up too. greg - develop!!

HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!!!! I PASSED PHYSICS!!!
:::hypeventilates :::
i can't believe it... some wonderful, marvelous, amazing person decided to give me a 50! i LOOOOVE the phy department! i <3 my department!!!
i iz happy ^_^

woah... blogger has a new layout. this is freaky shit, man. and i still don't have a post pic option. anyway...

the Massive Room Clean was successful: i threw out a bucketful (literally) of kinder surprise toys and lots and lots of stuff i had been keeping because i thought "what if i need it someday?" clearly, i never did need those things, hence they are gone. i also discovered that i own come cool stuff.

dinner on saturday at borwnstones with sean and josh was yummy and informative.
trip to the phoenix wasn't as much fun as the first time. the dj and i didn't agree on things, but nothing could be done about that. the best course of action is to go many many more times.

sunday i finished cleaning and i got my dad flowers for mother's day. then josh and i went to see mean girls at the queensway. it was way better than i expected, and it was just a fun sort of movie.
i personally didn't really relate to the stuff about spreading rumors and talking about people behind their backs. i know my friends and i all talk about each other, but it's not like "did you see what she was wearing? jimmy told me that sally told him that bobby said..." it's more like "boy, i'm sure worried about ______, because i love him/her and i'm not sure if he/she is doing the right thing," or, "what's new with _____?" and if anyone came to me and asked if i had talked about them, i'd eagerly admit it.
that night at the movies, i learned a valuable lesson in consumerism: if you know what you want, don't settle for anything else, not matter how much more popcorn you can get for 50¢.

i feel really good. i feel like i've finally really relaxed since school ended. i finally feel like i'm having fun, like i'm looking at the world with wide eyes.

i totally dig the commercial for mini ritz scuba.

my day yesterday was kool.
i went to an employment agency, i got me a chai latte, i went to the eaton centre and got a new purse, i went home and took a nap, josh and i went for free frappachinos, and then i had "girls night."
girls night turned out to be co-ed ice cream night. the load of us watched romeo + juliet, and damn i was glad josh wasn't there - i am such a wuss with that movie. i'm all sighing and swooning at all the sweet lines, and the fact that i was fully aware how it ended did not stop me from screaming at the tv "don't listen to balthasar! no one tells him anything! call the priest!!!" or "she's alive you moron!!!"
mandy and mitul didn't want to watch, and they kidnapped greg, so i got to cuddle on the couch with my addy-kins and my seany-kins. i think one of my highlights for the evening was adnan and me doing the "couch tango." priceless. ^_^
then there was much ice cream had by all. joy was proclaimed throughout the land.

i am currently in the middle of my Massive Room Cleaning. i've been lusting for this cleaning for a long time yet, and now it's happening! so yeah, back to work for me.

ala michelle.

FIRST...
First best friend: Lena.
First car: none yet, but when I have it, it will be "The Pimpmobile."
First (real) date: Grade 6, winter.
First real kiss: March 15, 2002.
First break-up: June 29, 2002.
First screen name: Probably Elf.
First self purchased album: Eiffel 65.
First funeral: None.
First pets: The first one I remember was the canary my dad caught.
First piercing/tattoo: None.
First credit card: Debit.
First (true?) love: This one.
First enemy: Mladen and the other boy from my kindergarten class. They tried to pull my pants down when they captured me. I should have cited the Geneva Convention.
First musician you remember hearing in your house: Michael Jackson.

LAST...
Last car ride: My dad drove me to the subway before one of my exams last week.
Last kiss: Wednesday night.
Last good cry: When my dad and I had a really big fight on the night of April 28th.
Last library book checked out: "Moo" by Jane Smily.
Last movie seen: Big Fish
Last beverage drank: Glass of milk last night.
Last food consumed: Tuna-cheese-melt.
Last crush: Depends on how you count it. For flavour, I'm gonna say Mike, because I kinda liked him until last fall when I saw him looking like a bum.
Last phone call: Called Mitul, told her to come over.
Last time showered: Yesterday.
Last shoes worn: Moccasins.
Last CD played: Live "Birds of Prey"
Last item bought: Two tank-tops from Fairweather.
Last annoyance: The chai latte at Second Cup wasn't as good as the one from Starbucks.
Last disappointment: My calc exam.
Last time wanting to die: Every moment of every day from when school started until when it ended.
Last time scolded: April 29th, I think. Told I was irresponsible, or something.
Last shirt worn: I'm currently wearing the grey T-shit I sleep in. Does that count?
Last website visited: Michelle's Livejournal.
Last word you said: "Stupid W-Network...." (There's no "Dharma and Greg" on Fridays)
Last song you sang: Can't remember the name, but it's the one that goes "He's everything you want, he's everything you need, he's everything inside of you that your wish you could be..."

WHAT...
What is in your CD player?: Nothing.
What color socks are you wearing?: They are THE COLOUR OF MY FLESH!!!
What color of underwear are you wearing?: Pink!
What's under your bed?: Shelves. In those shelves: Wires, box of candles, box of letters, blank floppy disks, CDs that don't work, phone, and a lot of old comic books from Yugoslavia.
What time did you wake up today?: I woke up at 8, got up at 9:30.
Where do you want to go?: Belgrade or Budapest.
What is your career going to be?: Vega Janic - Atom Smasher!!!!
Where are you going to live?: Toronto, but I'd be cool with somewhere else. Or nowhere. I'd love to be a nomad.
How many kids do you want?: None, unless they don't turn out to suck. If they rock, then 2 or 3.
What kind of car(s): Something low-slung, sexy, and black.

CURRENT
Current mood: Sleepy, hungry.
Current music: CrazyTown “Butterfly”
Current taste: Morning breath.
Current hair: Tied up in a pony tail and very messy.
Current clothes: T-shirt and ECI gym shorts.
Current annoyance(s): Having to job hunt.
Current longing: A chef to make me a kick-ass breakfast.
Current desktop picture: None -_- If I had Jesus, it would be something neat and homemade.
Current favorite artist: VAST
Current book(s): "Moo" and "Hamlet"
Current color of toenails: Human.
Current time-wasting wish: That Max was back home.
Current hate: The people at the physics and math departments who take their sweet time grading.

mmm... here's what dash had to say about it:

breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep.
this air is blessed
you share with me.
this night is wild,
so calm and dull.
these hearts they race
from self control.
your legs are smooth
as they graze mine.
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.

my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
so won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
my heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery.
which ever you prefer.

the words are hushed lets not get busted,
just lay entwined here,
undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"
man, that is so dumb.
stay quiet,
stay near,
stay close they can't hear,
so we can get some.

my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
so won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
my heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery.
which ever you prefer.

hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair
that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked
so I jumped it
and let you in
and you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.

i'm looking over at jim and thinking about what he wrote.
i understand the biological theories of human sexuality. it's all about making babies. everyone is promiscuous because it betters chances of having offspring.

the trouble with humans is that they don't want offspring. i've always said, if sex weren't fun we'd all spend all our time solving algebra problems, and forget about procreating and continuing the species. so nature has to give us extra impetus for procreating.
however, that doesn't change the fact that the strongest part of the human body is the brain. humans look at their bodies and think "ok, now i'll have some sex, 'cause it's fun. then i'll do some algebra."

which is why i don't particularly agree with the "biological theories." i can't buy the idea that humans want to procreate... or, if there is some deep-down instinct, i don't believe that humans are week enough to give in to an instinct that is so contradictory to everything else that humans want - namely personal development.
i think the fact that for as long as we've had civilized man, we've had people attempt to find ways to prevent conception proves my point.

on the other hand, my problem is that i'm very biased here. i've herd about people who really really want children, women whose "biological clock is ticking" and all that. still boggles my mind. of course, even if people actually do want children, i don't see how the "biological theory" of promiscuity helps, unless one partner is impotent/barren.
and now that i think about it more... i don't get people in general. if i were smart, i'd stop trying and just spend more time focusing on vega.