Amusing Conversations

Thursday night, talking to Sean about American Dad.
Me: I love the German goldfish, but I think the alien is a bit over-the-top.
Sean: Alien?
Me: Yeah.
Sean: The big grey thing?
Me: Yeah.
Sean: I thought that was a spliff!

This morning. I think this one is amusing simply because it was with my dad, of all people.
Dad: So Sonja went to the gynecologist yesterday...
Me: She's got AIDS?
Dad: No.
Me: She's pregnant?
Dad: No.
Me: What then?
Dad: They give away free condoms there. Do you want any?
Me: ...
Me: No, thanks.
Dad: C'mon, just in case.
Me: No, really. I think it would be very depressing if they end up sitting around for a long time.

The Severe Amount of Rocking that my Boiz Do

Thank you so much, guys! They got me Rammstein's Herzeleid, and Sehnsucht, Wumpscut's Evoke and VNV Nations's Matter + Form. Thanks to your efforts, I am now 31% more hardcore than before.

On that note: The other day, I was stroking my CD-tower, and thinking, "Now that's a nice rack." Upon realizing how much innuendo was in that sentence, I decided to share it with the world.

Random Music Stuff

I can't believe it took me so long to discover Metropolis Records. Basically, it is a label that every artist I have ever even thought about liking is signed to. I went to their website the other day, and creamed my pants when I looked at their roster: Bauhaus, The Birthday Massacre, Diary of Dreams, KMFDM, Melotron, Mindless Self Indulgence, Project Pitchfork, [:SITD:], VNV Nation and :wumpscut: are all signed there, as well as a stack of other awesome bands as deep as my neck. If all my other life plans don't work out, I'm moving to Philadelphia and working for them.
If I ran into KMFDM at the offices Metropolis Records, do you think the Käpt'n would let me touch his mohawk?

Oomph!'s new album will soon be released. The video for Gott ist ein Popstar is available on their website. I have watched it (without sound, because I'm at Robarts and have no headphones), and, though I've yet to hear to song, it looks awesome. Dero looked good enought to eat, as always.

Let me linger awhile, if I may, on the notion of Salvation.

Yesterday I said that "Music is salvation." This isn't quite so. Music is salvation to those who don't need to be saved. It elevates those who are already up. But for those who are spiraling downward, music is merely further impetus to continue that way, a push further into hell.
Strangely, the same piece can serve both uses. I, myself, cannot count the number of time that, when feeling sad, I have reached out for JJ72's Eye to Sky, so to have someone to share my anguish with. On the other hand, when I am happy, Mark Greaney's voice is as halcyon as a morning in springtime.

Music is not salvation.

Yesterday, I started falling into a pit of darkness. Last December, my Aunt predicted that I would have bad luck in relationships, that I would never find my One True Love. I would never have what my grandparents have (And, sincerely, all I ever wanted was to be more like my grandfather). It occured to me that she was probably right, simply because I, like my mother before me, want what is wrong for me. The weight of this sank in yesterday. I hated the timing, since I had been having a week of being exceptionally happy with my life, with the supreme balance I have created. I couldn't take that I had so suddenly and so drastically started to slip.

A half-hour ago I was leaving the Math Department, after having been there to discuss some details about my degree. When taking the elevator back down to the ground floor, my eyes met those of a sexy mathematician. And I was saved.
Perhaps the Zen monks are onto something, perhaps the truth is found in spontaneity, in a moment.

And maybe the sects that say that Nirvana is conditioned are right. Grasping, even for the void, is grasping. Perhaps I could finally escape this cycle of elation and depression, if only I could learn to let go, let go, let go...

And perhaps, when I am older and wiser, I'll even be able to let go of myself. For now I can't do that. I need Me too much. But maybe I can learn to let go of everything else.

Thank you, Boiz, for your lovely gift (though I haven't yet received all of it). It means more to me than you realize. Music is salvation.

On that note, I must do all in my power to listen to Radio Goethe this week and next. The playlists are bloody awesome.

On Saturday, I took up my father on his offer to spend lots of money at The Bay. I'm not sure why he suddenly had $500 that needed to be burned, but I'm sure I'm happier not knowing. I'm also happier now that I have lots of neat stuff. I am a Capitalist whore. And yet, I don't feel as bad about it as I should.
I am clinging to material things. What would the Buddha say?