warning: vega complains about her miserable existence

wednesday i had my O&W midterm. it was surprisingly easy. it was as if the prof knew i was doing badly on the problem sets, and made a midterm just for me.
the happy feelings caused by this were wiped out today, when i miserably failed my QM midterm. of the 4 questions, i could only do 1.
the logical thing to do is drop the course, since i can't possibly pass it, and if i drop now it won't affect my GPA. but i can't imagine how i'm going to bring up that idea to my dad... he doesn't take well to these "progressive" ideas towards education.

i'm also feeling very down about josh.
when we first started dating, all my friends were on my back about how he never gave me flowers or did romantic stuff for me. but i stood my him and insisted that such gestures don't really matter.
but i suppose even i have my limits. and his general insensitiveness, his inability to make time for me, is taking it's toll on me.
i understand we can't afford to talk daily... but considering our average conversations last 15-25 minutes, i wish he could consistently take time every other day to talk to me. but he can't. and we haven't had a proper conversation since tuesday (not that we haven't talked: i called, only to have him tell me he was unavailable, and not call me back).
i sway between being angry at him and being simply lonely for him.

and that's my miserable life.

well, i think we ALL knew that:

Which Sin Are You?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
You are...	Lust
This fun quiz by chibigarm - Taken 171443 Times.

New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

i don't know what it is - i've been wanting to blog all week, but nothing's been coming out. in fact, i've logged into blogger several times, started typing, then decided i didn't care and logged out.

the past week had been a delicate balance between the unspectacular and the depressing, with only one exception.

that exception is when vit, sonja and i went to see "the meeting place," a serbian movie at the bloor cinema. serbian movies are always great, i kid you not. the translation was a bit disappointing, which is sad since it kind of turns me off of taking non-serb friends there, but the movie itself was the usual funny, insightful, and delightfully ethnic scenario i have come to love and expect.

the rest of my time has been spent avoiding, at the cost of my life, preparing for my midterms. something inside me refuses to get to work. not that it matters much, since i will fail O&W and QM no matter what i do. jesus himself couldn't get me a passing grade.
it's all rather depressing. as i've offhandedly mentioned, but refused to talk about in detail, i've been having suicidal thoughts. it's funny, because i'm not emotionally depressed, my life just seems logically and objectively pointless. i'm no good at what i'm doing, i don't want to do anything else, ergo my life is pointless and should end.
i'm not the only physics specialist feeling that way.