body

i don't know what it is - i've been wanting to blog all week, but nothing's been coming out. in fact, i've logged into blogger several times, started typing, then decided i didn't care and logged out.

the past week had been a delicate balance between the unspectacular and the depressing, with only one exception.

that exception is when vit, sonja and i went to see "the meeting place," a serbian movie at the bloor cinema. serbian movies are always great, i kid you not. the translation was a bit disappointing, which is sad since it kind of turns me off of taking non-serb friends there, but the movie itself was the usual funny, insightful, and delightfully ethnic scenario i have come to love and expect.

the rest of my time has been spent avoiding, at the cost of my life, preparing for my midterms. something inside me refuses to get to work. not that it matters much, since i will fail O&W and QM no matter what i do. jesus himself couldn't get me a passing grade.
it's all rather depressing. as i've offhandedly mentioned, but refused to talk about in detail, i've been having suicidal thoughts. it's funny, because i'm not emotionally depressed, my life just seems logically and objectively pointless. i'm no good at what i'm doing, i don't want to do anything else, ergo my life is pointless and should end.
i'm not the only physics specialist feeling that way.