body

I'm starting to think that life is a game of limbo. The object is to see how low you can go, and still remain standing.
In particular, my life is about finding out how many dreams you can give up, and still call yourself a man.

I dreamed to be a physicist, but I had to let that go (Actually, it still feels as if this first dream was snatched away from me, rather than given away willingly). I went lower. I dreamed of being a physics teacher. But I am slowly letting that go, too.
Where do I go from here? Where can I go that's lower yet? What new dream can I come up with that won't leave me stranded in cruel awakening?

All I want out of life is some tiny measure of success. I want the pain, the constant kicking, the screaming of "You can't! You can't!" to stop. But it seems like those are the only possible results of any meaningful endeavor that I might undertake.
Perhaps what I should do is give up on the hope of meaning. Perhaps my goal should be something inane, a number-cruncher, a paper-pusher, a burger-flipper. Something where I will be totally insignificant and totally replaceable.

In case you can't tell, I just had a midterm.