Quick! Someone breathe! Deeply!

there i was, between my classes on a sunny yet icy thursday, and surfing the internet at the e. j. pratt library. i went to visit stonefishspine, only i didn't stick to the main page. i went back a few days and found this most wonderful entry on the colour blue.
mr. stonefish used the line "One cannot be sanguine all the time." i have herd the word sanguine used many times, but have never been sure what exactly it meant. so i did what anyone would do - i went to dictionary.com and found out. this is what i learned:

san·guine adj.
1. Of the color of blood; red.
Of a healthy reddish color; ruddy: a sanguine complexion.

2. Archaic.
a. Having blood as the dominant humor in terms of medieval physiology.
b. Having the temperament and ruddy complexion formerly thought to be characteristic of a person dominated by this humor; passionate.

3. Cheerfully confident; optimistic.

Word History: The similarity in form between sanguine, "cheerfully optimistic," and sanguinary, "bloodthirsty," may prompt one to wonder how they have come to have such different meanings. The explanation lies in medieval physiology with its notion of the four humors or bodily fluids (blood, bile, phlegm, and black bile). The relative proportions of these fluids was thought to determine a person's temperament. If blood was the predominant humor, one had a ruddy face and a disposition marked by courage, hope, and a readiness to fall in love. Such a temperament was called sanguine, the Middle English ancestor of our word sanguine. The source of the Middle English word was Old French sanguin, itself from Latin sanguineus. Both the Old French and Latin words meant "bloody" "blood-colored," Old French sanguin having the sense "sanguine in temperament" as well. Latin sanguineus was in turn derived from sanguis, "blood," just as English sanguinary is. The English adjective sanguine, first recorded in Middle English before 1350, continues to refer to the cheerfulness and optimism that accompanied a sanguine temperament but no longer has any direct reference to medieval physiology.

etimology remains one of my favorite branches of linguistics.
i think i'm the only person i know who would say something like that...

and we're back at school again, filling our minds with learning and bits of fluff.
the other day i was walking to calc with sean and jeff. i said "oh yay! we start integrals today!" and then sean had to hit himself.
i've discovered that if you take the stuff you have to do in a week, divide it up into little bits, and do one bit each day, everything gets done. it's amazing.

emotionally i'm a bit everywhere. anxiety is not a friendly thing.

happy integration!

first of all, i promise that i'll stop being so shifty about what's going on in my personal life. soon. it's just that at this time everything is so new and unprocessed and... i dunno. but i don't feel comfortable explaining everything that's happened to me in overt terms yet.

there's something new in my life, and it scares me.
the strangest thing is, just now, the reason i wanted to blog right now, i had this flash of i want to run away from this. i want to go away. it's been very long since i've felt that way. i used to want to sabotage things in my life all the time, back before. i guess this means i'm really scared.
but i won't. there are times in life when you must be courageous in the face or something scary, because you are standing up for something just and true.