randomly, last night, evan snow started typing me out that song. it was cute, so i kept it. vit's leaving tomorow night. ooh yeah!

i got my marks. 79.5% average. i want to die. canbridge would never take me now. not in a million years, if all the admissions people were drunk off their asses.
otherwise fine

you look so fine / want to break your heart / and give you mine / you're taking me over

It's so insane / you've got me tattered and chained / I hear your name / I 'm falling over / I'm not like all the other girls / I can't take it like the other girls / I won't share it like the other girls / that you used to know

you look so fine / knock down, cried out
been down just to find out / up through, and even for you / I'm open wide / I want to take you home / We're wasting time / you're the only one for me / you looks so fine

I like a dessert tonigh / you're far behind / if you want to show me / I'm not like all the other girls / I won't take it like the other girls / I won't fake it like the other girls, that you used to know

you're taking me over / over and over / I'm fallling over / over and over / you're taking me over / over and over / I'm falling over / over and over / you're taking me over / over and over / I'm falling over

Let's pretend: happy end / Let's pretend: happy end
-"You Look so Fine" by Garbage

"I used to believe that you should say anything on the web. The more unique voices the better. But I want to bring it up a notch. Instead of saying anything I admonish you to say something.

Your voice is important. Don't squander it by saying anything. Instead, say something."

from jimformation: a magazine

er, yes...
maybe i was too hard on humanity. maybe not. either way, i do want to say that friday was a ver nice experiance, no matter what thoughts it may have stirred up.

saturday i ran around in the morning doing chores until mehaik came over at 5 ish. we went to josh's house, and hung out with with him, max, squig, and mike. we then all piled into squig's car (quite literally, since i had to lie across josh max and mehaik in the back for all of us to fit) and went to zack's house. it's rather freaky, because it turned out that zack's sister is one of the girls who interviewed me for the volunteering deal at islington. as she pointed out, it's a very small world.

it was a lot of fun with those guys. i can't remember who else was here. but it was nice. at one point it started raining. i looked up and said to mehaik "wann go play in the rain?" she, of course, being a smart, logical young girl, said yes. we went out, and max and josh followed us. we ran around, skipped, and there was great joy throughout the universe. well, thoughout the vegavrse, and that's all that counts.
mehaik slept over that night, and i liked that. i love hanging out with her, it was fabulous to spend so much time together.
then, yesterday, josh and the boys got tougeter to play their rpg. it wasn't quite as lame as i would have imagined, since there was magic and guns (a wonderufl combination) and the way they did it made it seem like something between watching a movie and listening to storytellers, like in olden times.
i got to chat with janice too on sunday. we spent the whole time dissing eachother. she suggested she was banging josh, i suggested she was a whore, and all was well. thanks to her, i now have a new nickname: loose juice. yeah.
for the record, i'm calling mehaik skany whore. yo.
around 5 i called home, forgetting not to use josh's house line, because that shows up on our call display. my dad knew where i was, and assumed we had been there all day - which we pretty much were. he got all pissed, because we were 2 girls with 7 boys, and this is not "appropriate," because girls and boys should not be friends. clearly, my father never got past kindergarten. mehaik and i left pretty much right then, only taking ten minutes to bitch to josh and max about vit, and letting them noth comfort me/us.
she and i have the worst familly lives. we keep just being shocked by how cool josh and max and zack's parents are, and how much freedom and RESPECT and TRUST thy get. what do we get? beatings, stress, messed up futures, and a lot of trauma that we'll have to pay some shrink a hell of a lot to fix.

one last thing: on the way to josh's, mehaik and i saw a baby bird on the ground. he was alive, and we couldn't figure out hot he got there, since there was no nest for him to have fallen out of. fortunatley, we were right near an animal hospital, so we took him in. he was so strange, this tiny pink and blue thing, struggling and tring to walk and move his wings. he didn't even have any down, and his eyes were huge balls on his tiny head. i wonder how he is.

vit and i went to dinner, were, as has been true for the past several weeks (if not years), was my being an ever worsening child, student, and person in general. he said somehing interesting: he said he was waiting for his father to die so he could start living. i just wanted to say "me too, daddy."