body

first of all, i promise that i'll stop being so shifty about what's going on in my personal life. soon. it's just that at this time everything is so new and unprocessed and... i dunno. but i don't feel comfortable explaining everything that's happened to me in overt terms yet.

there's something new in my life, and it scares me.
the strangest thing is, just now, the reason i wanted to blog right now, i had this flash of i want to run away from this. i want to go away. it's been very long since i've felt that way. i used to want to sabotage things in my life all the time, back before. i guess this means i'm really scared.
but i won't. there are times in life when you must be courageous in the face or something scary, because you are standing up for something just and true.