body

solstice
simply, a happy solstice to all!
i had a wonderful time yesterday, watching movies with rek, jeff, mandy, mitul, and adz.
no sean, there is no song.

marijuana
i'm sure it's not just dali's disappearing bust of voltaire hanging above my desk (to see it, click) which is suddenly reminding me of the phrase "i may not agree with what you have to say, but i will defend to the death your right to say it."
but of course, actions are not words. no one is defending the german cannibal's right to eat people, even if they ask him to. apparently, we as a culture value life too much to allow murder or ingestion of fully living human beings (i specify "fully living" because abortion is permitted by many governments).
in a similar way, on this morning that the supreme court of canada has ruled to keep possession and trafficking of pot illegal, i am torn between my desire to grant every possible liberty to people, and my own personal values, which - though i know it's wrong - i can't help but wish to see reflected by others.

of all laws, it is the paternalistic laws that are most controversial. there can be tolerance for laws that prevent people from hurting one another. but how to make laws that are designed to prevent people from hurting themselves? how to justify even something as basic as needing to be 16 to drive a car or 19 to drink? and certainly, how to justify paternalistic laws when the people who must obey them are adults? should the government be able to protect people at all? on the other hand, how can it not?

on the other hand, if it were up to me, alcohol would be illegal. if it were up to me, "mind altering substance" would be a dirty word. but i suppose that's why it's a good thing it's not up to me.
i won't presume to force my values on others (at least not any more ^_^). but if i can't do it, how do the real law makers manage to separate their feelings from the law?

a reply
in regards to what mitul posted: i agree that the very notion of being alive is amazing. there are moments when one can't help but be awed by the simple fact that this world really IS manifest. right now, there is not just the idea of rain, but there are actual drops of water falling from the sky. there is not just the notion of a computer, but actual plastics, glass, metal, and electrons whizzing to and fro. there is not just the potential for vega, but a real vega.

however, i disagree with you on human suffering.
the buddha said the same things you say. he said the cause of suffering is attachment. lord buddha said that if we want to let go of pain and suffering, we cannot feel attached to anyone, anything, or even our own ego.
the buddha achieved enlightenment. but that's his karma, not mine. that path is not right for me.
i don't think it's right for me myself to become detached. i think that everything is too interconnected for me to let go. i think, instead, it is better to focus on the logical, reasonable, and even beautiful nature of suffering. nothing can reduce the acutenes of the pain of loosing something you love, but you can at least make the pain less abject.
last night when we watched high fidelity, no one noticed, i'm sure, but i cried during the scene when they made love in the car, after the funeral. the reason is that i thought they wouldn't get back together, and that scene reminded me of what it's like to have a part of someone, when you want all of them. it hurt to remember that. it was painful. but it was also good. it was a moment to being alive, is some way, a moment of feeling, something, anything.

lastly, a few months ago i e-mailed a list of things that make me happy. but, off the top of my head:
- the way my mom smells
- my grandfather's eyes
- the sea, by night
- tea
- the way the world smells in the rain