body

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! i just figured out my self destructive thing!!! oh my god... mehaik was right, it IS vit! i want to destroy myself because he wants to destroy me, and i adopted that behaviour!
not just that, but he ruined his own life, which doesn't help. he ruined his life, and wants to ruin mine to make up for it. as i child i adopted this behaviour, and do everything i can to destroy myself!
god, it's so clear....