body

heh... evan e-mailed me.
he said how he can't look at me, can't talk to me because he may say something he regrets, how he'll never love again, and how i left a hole in him... a hole that is being filled with hate. he asked if this is what i wanted to acheive.
well, i never wanted him to hate. a bit of pain, yes, because he likes that. he's happy being overdramatic.
but mostly, i wanted to cut him out. the stupid things he would have said are nothing to those i would have. it would have been so stupid of me to risk josh for him. i'm glad i didn't.
at the same time, i'm worried about evan. i don't know if he has anyone to lean on, and how he's handling thigns. he'll be ok, i know that. i just hope i didn't make him less ok than he would have been.
when i read his e-mail, i laughed, because i'm sure he says more than he means. at the same time, how do i know? how do i decide what is sincere, and what isn't? who am i to laugh at the sincere feeling of another human being?