body

"girrish"

i'm slightly pissed. i hate indecision.
ok, i realize i am being a hyporcite. usually i am either a) certain that there is a correct decision to be made, and am worried the one i make won't be it. that's not so bad by itself, just that i care what people think of me, and if i make the wrong decision, it will somehow make them think less of me. or, more likley b) i want to know the opinion of the people around me before i make my own call. often i don't care about the matter at hand, so what they think is more important. or, if i do care, i prefer to deal with the disagreement when it occurs.

but it's also that i am aware of how i feel, but not of how others feel. how can i make a decision involving others when i don't know how they want things? that's actually, why i used to have so much trouble making friends (and why i still have trouble maintaining some friendships), because i don't want to force myself on others.
that's why i always beg people toapproach me. i am totally willing to be appraoched, and if i'm not, you shall be informed. promplty.

so while i myself may not readily make decisions, i also don't like it when others can't. if i can't say what i want, and the other person can't either, than nothing gets done.

so maybe i should have more faith in people to tell me if they agree or disagree with me, and to tell me if my decisions are just plain wrong. because i'm sick of waiting for a choice to be made.
so yeah, from now, if i know what i want, i sayif. because, dammit, i hate indecision!



no. todd, no. don't even say that. all too many people feel that way. what, you think that because a bunch of shits don't like you? what do you care what they think? if he was making an effort to be friends, that'd be one thing. but, as much as it hurts and sucks, you've been rejected.
so sure, you can pine away and be sad and mad and want to do something stupid. or you can realize that, when it comes to how people feel, there's nothing you can do.
if they don't like you, they don't have to deal with you. but there are people who love you and care about you and WANT to deal with you. you have to accept that some people don't like you, and some people who once did now don't. but you also have to remember that there are people who DO like you, and it's they who deserve your time and affection.
don't waste and destroy yourself on ingrates.