body

in yugoslavia.
vit basically kicked me out the door, telling me to fend for myself as far as getting to the airport was concerned.
fortunatley, i ran to irene, and she and her mom saved me.

it's times like these you really relize just who the real friends are in your life. the people who, with not notice, would take you to the airport, or take you in to live with.
i mention the "live with" part because i don't know if i'll be welcome home when i get back to canada.
but let's not talk about that. i sent my friends a nice long e-mail to bitch about that.

let my first indulge my vanity:
i never realized before how much i love my hair. and forgive me if i sound shallow. but it it beautiful. since i was little, i would walk with all my hair hanging down in my face, and think "this is my mane." i'd feel so safe and powerful, like a lion.
i was looking at it today, and realized how it reflects my mood. when i was stressed, it turned almost a dark vomit green, tinted by worry. it was dull and ugly. as the day wore on, and i got ever closer to my family, it became more and more of a warm earth brown, until, in a moment of relief, a single hair of bright red poked out.
i want to grow it out.

on the plane to amsterdam, there was a crying child. he wan't just crying, he was screaming. and i wondered "how terrible are his troubles, that he needs to scream like that? and, how lucky he is, that he can do that." what i would give to ba able to just scream every time things got too hard. i think we'd all be much happier if we could.